Confessions
by Princess of Ithilien
Summary: Each of the Fellowship share a secret with the rest. Hopefully you'll find it funny, though its pretty random! AU R&R! COMPLETED
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Each member of the Fellowship must tell a secret about themselves. NOT NASTY OR ANYTHING! JUST WEIRD AND FUNNY!

Warning: Some of the things they say will be very AU.

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or any of the characters that will soon be tortured by embarassment.

**Confessions**

"Lets play a game!" Pippin said as the Fellowship sat by the fire. They had just left Rivendell and really hadn't travelled that far. Merry completely agreed with Pippin. "Oh, I have a good one! Good idea, Pip. Lets play Confessions! Everyone has to tell a secret!"

The rest of the Fellowship groaned. "Oh, come on, it'll bring us all closer!" Merry insisted. More groaning. "Well, Merry can start," Pippin suggested.

Merry thought for a moment. "Okay, this may sound really gross, but I like to eat strawberry jam with my biscuits and gravy."

Pippin made a face and everyone else inched farther away from Merry-The-Weird-Eater.

"You next, Sam." Merry said, looking to his right.

"I used to put dirt in my milk and drink it." He said quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Frodo laughed.

"What about you, Frodo?" Pippin asked.

Frodo turned red. "I'm...ah...I'm afraid of wood, because I'm always getting splinters."

It was everyone's turn to laugh. Aragorn patted the hobbit on the head. "Ah, I wouldn't worry too much. I'm afraid of things too." Everyone went silent. Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the throne of Gondor, _afraid_ of something?

"I'm afraid of ladybugs, okay?" He said, then laughed nervously.

Gimli grunted and laughed. "Little red insects with black spots? What's so scary about them?"

"Okay, tough guy, what's your secret?" Aragorn said, poking the dwarf with a stick.

"I...umm...I still suck my thumb." Gimli said, his face turning red underneath his beard. Boromir howled. "That's hilarious!"

"Oh yeah? Well what's your secret, Mr High-And-Mighty?" Gimli grunted.

It was Boromir's face that turned red now. "Well, I, er, I used to, that is, I still...er, I still sleep with a stuffed animal." He said that last part real quietly, but everyone heard it anyway.

"No shame in that," Pippin said, reaching up and patting him on the shoulder.

"What's your secret, Pip?" Merry asked, nudging his friend because he most likely already knew what it was. But Pippin surprised even Merry.

"I like to drink orange juice and milk mixed together."

Everybody made an _eeewww _sound and Pippin looked sheepish. "Its not as bad as it sounds!" He protested.

Gandalf had been pretty quiet throughout the whole exchange, but he decided to say something and get it over with.

"I'm afraid of the dark."

It was real quiet for a minute before everyone cracked up.

Then everyone turned to the Elf. "What about you, Legolas? Surely you've got some secret?" Frodo asked.

"Well, its not my fault, its my father's fault." He said, already trying to clear his name. "I don't know my left leg from my right."

All the confessions over with, the nine companions giggled themselves to sleep.

A/N: So? Didja like it? Review, please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Followup**

A/N: Companion to Confessions. It explains why Legolas's confession is his father's fault.

Disclaimer: If I had originally created Lord of the Rings, I probably wouldn't abuse it like this. I mean, if I saw the look on Tolkien's face if he read this, well, I'd probably faint.

In the morning, when the Fellowship had been walking for a half hour or so, Merry and Pippin fell back to walk alongside Legolas.

"Legolas?" Merry asked.

The tall Elf looked down at the small hobbit.

"About your confession last night..." Merry continued slowly. One of Legolas's eyebrows shot up.

"How is it your father's fault?" Pippin said loudly.

Legolas smiled. "When I was younger, I was left-handed. So that means I led with my left leg too. But my father had no idea how to teach me to shoot a bow because he was right handed, and so he made me use my right hand, and now I'm never sure. That, and my great-grandmother told my mother I would grow up to be some dangerous criminal if they let me use my left hand."

The hobbits laughed.

"So you really don't know your left leg from your right?" Pippin asked with a wide-eyed look.

Legolas shook his head. "No, I don't."

Pippin stomped down on Legolas's right foot.

"Which foot was that?" he asked. The elf grimaced and looked down, but stayed silent.

"I don't know."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Pippin laughed again and shouted at the others that Legolas really didn't know his left leg from his right.

While Pippin was doing this Merry had walked away, and, after a short hunt in the leaves, found a lady bug. He walked up to Aragorn casually and struck up a conversation, all the while keeping the ladybug in his fist.

When Aragorn stopped talking, Merry flung the ladybug at him. Aragorn screamed. He screamed loudly. And like a girl.

Merry started laughing, and when the others found out what had happened, they started laughing too. When everyone settled down, they kept walking, as if nothing had happened.

A/N: I decided to do an extra little thing explaining why it was Legolas's father's fault. I also took that part about being a dangerous criminal from 'Easter Parade'. I didn't make that up. And I just decided to throw in the little bit about the ladybug. I would've added it as another chapter, but my computer isn't letting me.


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